GEJ VS GMB. A COMIC APPROACH TO VOTING FOR NONE

okay we are going into politics todays somebody say halleluyah. First of all I want to get some things out the way. I, my humble self and me am not a politics person, so writing this piece should come out funny if I should go by what is running in my head. I never really got to know the meaning of GMB until I asked someone after seeing it on a rice bag and the dude was like, “Guy you dey this country at all”? Is it by force to sabi everything that goes on in this country, my people help me see oh. So he told me it means General Muhammad Buhari. And my face was like that smiley with the O shaped mouth :o. okay then he was about to go into explaining the meaning of GEJ when I prided myself in the intangible yet useless knowledge I had about the acronym. “Is it not Goodluck Ebele Jonathan or JEGA – Jonathan Ebele Goodluck Azikiwe” , he then looked at me and said then why don’t you know Buhari. Then I had to reflect a bit. I had heard about the guy I think when I was in primary school or my early days in the junior secondary school. I heard something akin to what I had heard about Abacha, I don’t know if I heard right or was just relating their being both military rulers and northerners but something about tyranny kept ringing in my head. So why my rant? Why shouldn’t you vote the incumbent Niger-Deltan or the General tyrant?

Okay I told you guys before I was in one dry part of the world called Ila-Orangun. So mostly I don’t get news because I had neither a television set nor was the network on my tecno android good enough to open some pages online and blogs to know when they would tell us to run from Nigeria. So I was walking a something struck me. A billboard which formerly showcased the governorship advert of the present governor of osun in the person Ogbeni Rauf Adesoji Aregbesola was showing something different. General Buhari and one dude named Osinbajo(his running mate I guess). I was like who the frats are these people again (actually the board is owned by APC the state governors political party and evidently that of the people which it presently carried the pictures), and then I remembered the GMB stuff. I won’t say I actually had those light bulb instances but something close to that sha. My idea was what if we just don’t come out that day or we collect what all these people have for us and vote for one random lobiko on that day(by the way lobiko means an offpoint person)?. And meanwhile the board read “Vote Good Governance not Goodluck”. Now is that a kind of mockery on our beloved presidend?

Goodluck Ebele Jonathan Azikiwe(The last being a self acclaimed name in an initial charade to pose as the founding father of independence in this country, lailai no be me e catch) has in all ramifications failed Nigeria. I think the initial way he got into office was what affected him. Taking over after a sick man when he dies is not a good way of getting into office. The sickness in him affects everything you do afterwards in his stead because spiritually there are some things that can’t be explained. He came into power and Niger-Delta militants piped low abi? Theatrics in its highest order, men want their personal person there jare, and everyone was applauding like he did a spectacular thing. Niger-deltans small nah abi una no see boko boys ni. The same way niger delta militants died down is the same way boko will go away if GMB and osinbajo get into power so be smart. Okay, I think that will be one feather to their cap but look at a list of dents to their shining armor.

·         Power supply was very poor(except in cases when dignitaries are involved, don’t worry if you don’t understand I will explain in another post).

·         Roads? Omo visit some states, even the lagos everyone hypes ain’t worth writing about at all

·         Fuel. I laugh in Swahili. He came now during his campaign and brought down the price to N87. Forget it. Subsidy removal will resurface when he wins.

·         Economy. Omo I know nothing about this(am a biochemist cum computer scientist) but I know people has been complaining about it and giving the rise in dollar price as example

Am tired e plenty but lemme pause here a bit.

Oya over to you buha and osi! First of all I know nothing about his running mate rather than he just appeared from nowhere and people be claiming he is fourth to Pastor E.A. Adeboye. To me that still doesn’t mean because if you were to put that in consideration I bet and know some pastors who have come up to contest for the presidency in time past would have won. So Buhari our main man, as Nigerian elders will say, “Always a soldier, remains a soldier”, though as a grown-up I didn’t experience the military regime but from my 21 days at NYSC camp I had an inkling of what it might be like. God abeg ooohhh!!!! Please Buhari just park one side abeg. If na frog jumps you want make I chop for 4 years of your rule which I know would likely be extended you no go enter there. And hey, I just remembered that I heard one dude in the bus I boarded at one time saying you had a kind of sickness that might be leading somewhere(God forbid sha), but if that is the case, I don’t want Osinbajo inheriting that seat as Jonathan did because be him a man of God without time to seek Gods face and pray well before ascending the throne our lots would again be repeated(does yar adua and Jonathan sound a bell?).

So please Nigerians on that day come out and vote wisely(and when I mean wisely I mean vote ME!). I won’t vote on that day if not you would have dropped your numbers and I will send you the persons or party I will vote for(as jamb candidates dey do nah!!! By the way, jamb runs is very wrong), but would be an INEC official as my fatherland instructed we corpers to be. But I charge you to vote wisely and get us the person appointed by God. But if you don’t see, you can still slot in my name on that Ballot paper lol.

GEJ or GMB who do you go for. Lemme see your polls on the comment box. Thanks!!!