TIPS ON HOW TO GROW TALLER THAN YOU ARE IN YOUR 20’S or 30’s

 

My mother has of recent been bringing up jokes that suggests she wants me to marry soonest. You know when your mother comes up with talks like, “nnam, I saw you with one slim girl the other day *winks* who is she”, or “hey I saw one girl in the market today and she was so fine, TALL and fair and fleshy, she would make a good wife”, ha! Just because she is fair, fleshy and tall now makes her wifeable? Hmmm, there is God oh! Meanwhile, looking through my laptop, she sees pics I have taken with other girls and she be like, “ah ah, this one is short, please oh don’t bring her to wife oh”. Apart from what my mum thinks and her opinions, I myself have noticed that most girls of recent are what you call “short” or in other words, brief, down to earth and summarized. Why? You might ask(you might even be in that category). Heredity is the number one phenomenon to blame, then we can ask the foods we eat some questions and finally our lifestyle. But there are some ways you can naturally without drugs cause a lil bit of height increase.

 Exercise

Nigerians mtchew where them get time for that one? Wake in the morning, lazily get out of bed, brush your teeth, take a heavy breakfast, get into your car and drive of to work. At work sit around all day writing and signing papers. At the end of work get into your car again and drive home to dinner and little sleep. On the weekends, mete out more than enough judgement on accumulated sleep during the week and then start all over again on Monday. No time to exercise a bit. Scientist have found out that that 20minutes walk a day strengthens the tibia and fibula(forming medically inclined nah J) and helps the longest bone in the body the femur or thigh bone increase in length. Extra jogs and runs on Saturdays and taking up some exercising schemes help the production of calcium in the body which in turn forms bones. So exercises such as jogging, running and walking helps with your lower body lengthening take it or leave it

GEJ VS GMB. A COMIC APPROACH TO VOTING FOR NONE

okay we are going into politics todays somebody say halleluyah. First of all I want to get some things out the way. I, my humble self and me am not a politics person, so writing this piece should come out funny if I should go by what is running in my head. I never really got to know the meaning of GMB until I asked someone after seeing it on a rice bag and the dude was like, “Guy you dey this country at all”? Is it by force to sabi everything that goes on in this country, my people help me see oh. So he told me it means General Muhammad Buhari. And my face was like that smiley with the O shaped mouth :o. okay then he was about to go into explaining the meaning of GEJ when I prided myself in the intangible yet useless knowledge I had about the acronym. “Is it not Goodluck Ebele Jonathan or JEGA – Jonathan Ebele Goodluck Azikiwe” , he then looked at me and said then why don’t you know Buhari. Then I had to reflect a bit. I had heard about the guy I think when I was in primary school or my early days in the junior secondary school. I heard something akin to what I had heard about Abacha, I don’t know if I heard right or was just relating their being both military rulers and northerners but something about tyranny kept ringing in my head. So why my rant? Why shouldn’t you vote the incumbent Niger-Deltan or the General tyrant?

AH! OSUN STATE! ILA-ORANGUN! NYSC WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME?

Okay its been long I have been on this platform but sorry guys I have to come back and talk to you coz if not how do I expect you guys to come back. Okay I am serving my country as the country demands we do after school which to me is a kind waste of time (my initial thought sha, because now I think I am having a rethink). For my national youth service corps, I was posted to Osun state first of all. We got there and Ebola said hell no, you guys should leave camp (camp is a mandatory 21 days waste of time which the federal government has devised to use to spoil some peoples life but not my own sha) and return to your houses, so I gladly took my stuffs after buying lots of things for it (I spent money sha) and went back home. Then we came back after two weeks and we were posted to our PPA’s(place of primary assignment if you don’t know what it means *wink*). That was the first time I heard people complain. I was hearing stuffs like, “Kai, why I no collect camp official number so I go repost myself”, “which kind winch be this one nah”, “omo God please help me, which kind thing be this nah”. And that was when I heard really scary names in my life, names like- Atakunmosa and Ila-Orangun, and I peeped into my posting letter to find out that I was among the scary named candidates. I saw in bold letters ILA-ORANGUN. Okay so it prompted me to take out my phone. You know that point when you are posted to a place you have never heard of and you suddenly have an urge to study geography, Yes I was in that state. So I keyed in, “OSUN STATE MAP AND LOCAL GOVERNMENTS ILA-ORANGUN” and that was when the real shocker came.